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Excuses, Excuses. ~ Allan Sand

Many players need to have some handy excuses for missing a pool shot. Of course, your opponents don’t care — they’re just happy you screwed up and let them come to the table. For Railbirds, player excuses for a missed pool shot can be quite entertaining. As an audience, they always appreciate the more outrageous explanations for screwing up.

There are times when you a good (or bad) excuse for a missed pool shot is necessary, if at least to save face. Here are a few to get you thinking of building your own list.

Standard excuse list:

 You were sharking me.

 The music is too loud. How can anyone think with this noise?

 I don’t want my opponent to see my real skill.

 That good looking girl (or guy) distracted me.

 I not really interested in winning anyway.

 I’m trying to keep my handicap.

 There’s a roll-off on the table.

 Whoops. Forgot to chalk.

 I’ve got to hit the can.

 A piece of chalk threw the ball off line.

 I shouldn’t have had that last beer.

 I shouldn’t be talking when I’m shooting.

 The ball skidded and went off line.

 The ball doesn’t roll right. I want a replacement.

 I had a brain fart.

 There are only so many bad shots in me today. That was one of them.

 I like to help my friends win once in a while.

 Oops. I’m using the wrong cue.

 Can’t seem to get anything right today.

Old geezer excuse list:

 I just had hip surgery and can’t get down on the shot.

 Anybody know where I put my glasses?

 I forgot what I was trying to do.

 I’d rather be lucky than good.

 I should have made that. Can’t figure out why.

 I can’t see that far.

You can create lists depending on various profiles – i.e., youngster excuses, female excuses, and so on. (You get extra social points with a humorous excuse.)

There is no shame in stealing someone else’s line, as long as you don’t use it the night you first heard it. You can help spread the use of good excuses by posting on the various social media.

Sponsored by POV Pool and Jacoby Custom Cues

Allan Sand is a certified pocket billiards instructor, qualified by the PBIA (Professional Billiards Instructor Association) and ACS (American Cue Sports). His focus is on helping players become the “Intelligent Shooter” (thinking before shooting). He has played the Green Game for more than 50 years and now resides in Santa Clara, CA. He keeps his skills sharpen on a 5×10 Saunier & Wilhelm 1938 table with double-shimmed pockets. He has written 10 books on pocket billiards and produced five videos on how play better and smarter. He has one of the most popular billiards blogs on the planet with three posts every week. Photo: Flickr/termie Editor: Hannah Blue

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