By The Tallahassee Squirrel
Thursday, February 17th, 2022 -- I woke up this morning wondering how I got here, what went wrong, and was there anything I could do to remedy my situation, the master of self sabotage himself, Mr. Bipolar PTSD, a toxic combination. I digress, evermore I digress.
So I have some Lithium Orotate coming in the mail to add to my pill combinations that attempt to level out my emotional state. See, with me personally, I have all the knowledge of a 50 year old person, but can sometimes but not always, have the emotional state of a little kid. If that makes any sense to anyone, or if anyone cares, which hopefully people do.
But this article isn't about that. And I hope that this article isn't the last before the billiards world blacklists me, but I have gone horribly wrong of late, and I had to take a look at myself in the mirror and ask, "Who do you think you are?" And I don't like the returning quizzically blank stare. My mind is mush.
He can explain it if he likes, but I acted very poorly with Darren Appleton, and I owe him an apology. I thought Predator was bad for the game, and they are most likely very good for the game, but I was thinking they were bad for billiards, and went horribly wrong in a conversation with Appleton. Sorry to Appleton. Sorry to one of my idols in the game. I am an idiot. Perhaps I can atone and write an article about everything Predator is doing for pool and the players. I don't know what has come over me lately. Like I've said, I'm trying some things with my meds. I can hope. At least most times I'm not like I was yesterday with Appleton, but that was very bad. I hope he understands.
I'm sorry to Garret Troop of SPM (Sneaky Pete Mafia), because I'm sure I've caused him backfire off this, and he is not to blame. I am. I don't represent SPM. I am a contributing writer, that has published articles independently of SPM with InsidePool, and on my own platforms as well, but mainly with SPM, that is true. But I'm not an employee of SPM, nor does SPM pay me, so there's that. I just like to write about the game. They like my articles, and hopefully the players and fans and aficionados of billiards like my articles.
I am sorry to Billiards Digest, to Mike Panozzo, my friend R.A. Dyer, as they have always provided top notch billiards articles, but Panozzo had rejected some of my work years ago on a story I had on John Schmidt, and I took it personally and for that I'm sorry. I still say it was a great article, but that's just me, but there's no need to carry a grudge. Billiards Digest rocks.
Furthermore, I'm sorry to billiards as a whole, because I just wanted to contribute to the game and not detract from it. I want to get back to writing positive, informative Billiards articles that entertain the reader. I don't want to be known. You don't write pool articles and expect to be known. You do it because you love the game, or I do at least.
Sorry to Predator cues, but in my defense, I have no clue about your company really, what goes on behind the scenes. Sorry for my confusion, and skepticism. I got it in my head that your company was bad for the game and players, and people keep telling me how well Predator supports the game and players, so when I'm wrong I admit it, but I didn't ever report in an article that Predator was bad for the game. However, I did ask the question on social media and not in a nice way, so that was definitely wrong, and I did act way out of line with your player/representative Darren Appleton, again one of my favorite players of all times. So, that all was not good at all.
But I don't discriminate, because I have gotten Strickland mad at me in the past, but he can get mad at anyone, 😂.
And Schmidt got mad at me over my politics, so that went wrong there too.
And I've definitely made mistakes along the way since about 2014 when I began writing billiards articles, with my first article on Efren Reyes, and how I considered him the Greatest Of All Times in pool. It is subjective I know, but I think many agree to that end.
I will do better if given the chance, but if I am blacklisted, then I'm still a writer first and pool writer second, and player last but not least, but mainly just a fan of the game who wanted to write about the best the game has ever seen originally, I wanted to write about Reyes is how this all got started. I wanted to have something to say about the game I love, the sport, pocket billiards.
Thanks for your time. I mention the Bipolar and PTSD not to excuse any of my actions, but only to explain why I sometimes act a little not like myself because that's not the way I want to be, but this can be a daily struggle for me at times, and I would hope that some may understand to some extent. I also know that I need to work on my attitude, and the way I sometimes conduct myself with people, and that has nothing to do with mental health. There is so often a stigma society places upon mental illness, and that must come to an end as well I feel.
I believe that if this Lithium coming soon works out better for me, and if I continue to take my other meds regularly, and write up a good article on Predator, Billiards Digest, Darren Appleton, this apology to them all and pool as a whole, and to SPM, and Troop, explaining how for about the last month or so I've really been struggling personally, and explain the full gravity of the situation, then perhaps this will dispel any rumors, and help everyone know exactly what's going on, as always.
Please let me know what you the reader thinks. If you like this and/or have any input, please like and/or comment below. Thanks for your time and consideration.
Also, I'd rather write the story than to become the story, so this is really odd to me. Feel like I'm in a bad episode of the Twilight Zone.
At any rate, keep on hitting them balls.